lesson learned...

               Well let's see I don't trust easily and this is why... In  my life I've had too many people including people who legally were obligated not to talk about what we talked about to the other person... yup they failed... especially when the person who I feared confronted me on it, yeah tell me that wasn't messed up. But then again that wasn't it... their were other people who I then told me I could talk to them and nothing would be said yet always managed to get said back to the person I talked to them about, like really I was left alone in a world... my parents were divorced and they constantly fought in front of us kids, so I grew up with it... I grew up with fighting, swearing and hate... I'm not a hateful person, I'm very much the opposite and try hard to give my kids everything that I never had. But why I'm writing this is because of my husband's cousin... she's been starting a lot of the stress I've had lately, come to find out she's been starting a lot of issues for my husband and me ... isn't that lovely... after everything she's said to us about she's always their for us... yeah right a monkey's ass she is... she's the farthest from being their for us after what came out of the wood works last night...

     I'm 37 weeks pregnant... my first son is with my husband... yes... but my second isn't... why because we split up and i dated someone else cause we that person did a great job breaking my husband and i up during a really rough patch in our relationship... i had been dating my husband for 3 years and after our son and him working all the time and it got to me and we started having little issues since no one in his family after saying they'd help would come help me... plus i was also fighting re-cooperation from being a depressed person from my past, which I've been 5 years medication free which is great! So threw out this pregnancy my husband and I were getting strange texts, chat messages, and of course e-mails stating that this kid wasn't his, i have been cheating on him, that he's been cheating on me and that we both aren't meant to be parents that our kids our better off without us or they are better of with one or the other... well ... a mutual friend of ours who's always been closer to my husband got fed up with the bullshit and came right out and texted me asking me what the hecks up with my husbands cousin saying stuff like this because people started asking him, like what the hell rumors and drama here we go, at first i thought it was him asking to move in, which had recently happened with my husbands uncle... so i asked him straight out and then he asked me and i was very upset and more hurt by the fact she went around and started telling people that i don't know, people in my husband and her family and mutual friends, that just ain't right... you got an issues and have questions you come to the person don't go starting freaking rumors about shit you don't know i mean really why would i honestly fuck up my marriage for anything...?! right as they say misery loves company and she's been that way since she left a control freak... let alone she knows i don't like one of her son's cause he's a crazy loon who gets on my nerves and I've told many times I'd put in his place if he kept the shit up. Let alone she knows that my husband and I agree on everything before just doing which upsets her because he's no longer at her beck and call when it comes to dropping things now and helping her. So I'm sure she's using things to get back at us or me for taking that away. But then to talk shit about me to people that's worse... she doesn't even know me ... then I get random messages saying my kids are gonna get taken away, I'm gonna get it, and so on, seriously people need to stop being so damn shady come to the person they hear the shit about and ask them... is it that hard to actually confront someone... last i knew it was very easy... heck i do it all the time... I was told to speak the truth... and that's what I do... but unlike her I'm not sleeping with one guy and apparently dating another... what the heck is that... last i knew that as considered being a whore... but then again i could be wrong with the way society is now a days i swear people have more open relationships it's disgusting, what happened to being faithful, true, and pure... did that leave when my generation was born or even before that because it wasn't their for my parents and damn sure ain't here now... but enough with my rant... i just need to vent a little but seriously now people understand why i don't go out, why i stay in majority of the time it's because people like to start crap and stress me out and try to cause rips in my relationships...

        Well it's Friday and it's the long day for me and the boys so I'm not gonna let last night upset me or bother but all def. be watching what gets said... and who says it... and my husband and i won't be helping her for anything heck the last time she was supposed to help me i did everything then she tried to take credit for it and wound up falling asleep ... and the time before that she blew me off... way to go woman of year what i can't call her that ... she ain't a woman, she ain't a girl... hell i don't know what she is... besides a two-timing, back-stabbing tramp... yeah and i don't care if this gets back to her either cause i ain't afraid to call her out on it either... that's just who i am!